No one talks about this.

The real reason so many of us won’t start and get stuck in “research” mode.

We hear all of the time, “it’s hard to put yourself out there and to take a risk”.

But the reason isn’t just “that it’s scary”.

It’s that to put yourself out there, to declare what you are trying with the real possibility of making mistakes along the way requires insane amounts of humility and ego-injury.

You have to be willing to take a position, even if that means upsetting people who you like.

You have to be willing to look foolish, to be thought of negatively and to be misunderstood — all things that hurt the ego.

Especially when you are doing it in front of people who might be secretly wishing for your downfall or who might be actively speaking negatively about you.

You have to be willing to do all of this and more — REGULARLY and that is what stops most people.

Because the truth is we’ve all been on the other side.

We’ve been the one that snarks “did you see what so and so said?”

We’ve been the one that has thought “wow that is never going to work, what an idiot”

We’ve been the one that has participated in the negative “so he’s doing THAT now?” roundtable.

So when people say “don’t worry about what people think, they aren’t thinking about you anyway”

We all know that is BS because we’ve thought and spoken about others and seen others do the same.

The fact is, you have to be OK with all of that. You MUST make peace with the negatives real or imagined.

Because that is the only way.

But if you can find a way to manage this, you will be in rare company. Because the fact of the matter is most people will be too scared to even start. The bravest of that group might make small token motions towards taking the leap. But eventually they will all stay coward in the corner.

This is the hack. It’s one I’ve struggled with for years, but the last month has taught me that if I can rip the band-aid off and go all in, I can leverage something that most will never do.

If you struggle with this (and are catholic) check out the Litany of Humility, it’s a hard prayer but a really good one.